I'm gonna say we have Freud to blame for misleading us on this. (Another old white man, amirite?).
But I'll skip the history lesson and just put it this way:
We have been taught to believe that INSIGHT is what will change our lives.
If we just understand the areas where we feel insecure at work, we'll feel confident.
If we just understand why we choose unavailable romantic partners, we'll pick better ones.
If we just understand how our parents screwed us up, we'll feel better.
But if you've ever read a self-help book or been to therapy or kept a journal you know the truth: Not so much.
Insight is definitely important. We can't change anything until we understand it.
But understanding doesn't actually do anything on its own.
You can understand that a car is crashing because the brakes are bad, but that just means you're watching the car crash happen.
If you don't know how to actually FIX the brakes, that knowledge is not too useful.
The same is true with your own brain.
If you want to feel confident at work, you don't just need to understand that your self-doubt is getting in the way. You need to know how to CHANGE IT.
If you want to pick a romantic partner who actually wants to have a relationship with you, you don't just need to know your attachment style and how it's making you anxious. You need to know how to CHANGE IT.
If you want to let go of all your resentment and wounds so you can evolve into a more powerful version of yourself, you don't just need to understand what happened to you as a child. You need to know how to CHANGE your thoughts NOW.
INSIGHT IS NICE.
TRANSFORMATION WILL CHANGE YOUR F*CKING LIFE.
DAY 1: CHANGING YOUR THOUGHTS IN REAL TIME
You know that feeling you get when your boss criticizes your work, or that person you've been dating says they met someone else, or your fourth friend from college in a row posts online about her weight loss and marathon?
That punch-to-the-gut / sinking stomach / racing heart combination, where you're somehow depressed, anxious, and nauseous all at the same time?
Here's what's wild: It's actually possible to live the rest of your life without that feeling.
But in order to do that, you have to know how to change it while it's happening.
Not just be able to deconstruct it a week later, once you've calmed down but after you've had 3 bottles of wine and bought a dress you don't need in the moment.
But actually shift your thoughts while they are happening - and eventually, get so good at it that those crippling negative thoughts don't even come up at all.
If you want more emotional resilience - aka to be able to control that rollercoaster in your brain - you must understand how to access and change your thoughts correctly, effectively, and powerfully. Whenever you need to, wherever you are. That's what Day 1 is all about.
DAY 2: HOW TO SET BETTER GOALS - AND ACTUALLY ACHIEVE THEM
Maybe you're someone who is used to setting goals and achieving them...but you find that it never feels as amazing as you'd expected. And soon enough your brain starts finding reasons that it wasn't so impressive at all.
Or maybe you're someone who has a dream they haven't even looked squarely in the face, because you're scared that you can't do it and you know that every time you try to start something, you never end up finishing it.
Sounds like two different types of people, right?
Whether you're one or the other - or maybe one in some areas of your life, and the other in other areas - it's all the same problem. It's perfectionist thoughts messing with your game.
You can’t achieve your way to self-confidence, but you can’t build true self-confidence without trying to achieve and learning how to weather failure and keep going.
That’s the paradox we will unlock on Day 2.
You’ll learn how to set big goals and how to create integrity with yourself so that you actually achieve them - and how to ENJOY those achievements once you have them.
Remember we’re doing transformation, not just insight or application. So you’ll be doing hard work on your goals, your calendar, and your brain - leaving with a plan you can actually carry out and feel good about at the same time.
DAY 3: THE ONES WE LOVE…AND THE ONES WE DON’T!
Who gets under your skin the most?
Strangers who cut you off in traffic?
Coworkers who try to take all the credit for your work?
Your spouse who leaves their dishes next to the sink - or your ex-spouse who did the dishes but cheated on you with your sister?
It's a funny thing about the brain, but the level of negative emotion we feel about other people isn't always really related to the importance they have in our lives or the magnitude of their mistakes.
That's because it all starts inside our own minds.
It's our beliefs and thoughts and ideas about how other people should behave that cause all of our conflicts with each other and makes it so hard to communicate and get our needs met.
And the one thing I know for sure is that the harder you are on other people, the harder you are on yourself.
Learning how to love others a little more freely is how you learn to love yourself a little more freely too.
And that's going to change your life.
When: Saturday, November 9 - Monday, November 11, 2019
Where: Denver, Colorado
Denver is a low-key fun city accessible from all areas of the country, and with an international airport as well. Our hotel, Hotel Teatro, is right downtown with lots of eating and shopping options walkable nearby. You won’t need a car – just fly in, grab a cab to the hotel, and you’ll be set for the weekend.
You will receive an email within 24 hours of your registration with links to book a room at the event hotel, as well as a couple of other great options at different price points, all within a 1-2 block radius of the event.
Schedule Days 1-3:
- 10 a.m. Group learning and coaching with Kara
- 1:00 p.m. Lunch on your own (or with each other!)
- 2:30 p.m. Small group workshop sessions (everyone will spend one afternoon in a small group with Kara and the other two in small groups with our star Clutch Coaches)
- 6:00 p.m. Dinner on your own (coaches will take groups who want to go together Saturday & Sunday)
- 8:00 p.m. Study Hall (optional, Saturday and Sunday nights only)
We have left plenty of time to assimilate, digest, discuss, and work on what you’ve learned in the mornings and evenings. Processing your learning as it happens is essential!
$3,499 at time of registration
You must be an active member of the Clutch as of the event dates to attend! If you are not yet a member, a recurring monthly membership will be added when you check out.
If you are already a member, please reserve your spot through the registration page inside the membership site to avoid being double-charged for your membership!
IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE WHO YOU ARE AND HOW YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE, NO MATTER WHAT YOUR LIZARD BRAIN SAYS.
That’s what this weekend is all about.
Imagine what your life would be like without the doubt, without the second-guessing, without the anxiety and insecurity.
Imagine what your life would be like if you felt confident in every room you entered and at home with yourself wherever you are.