WHAT’S MORE OF A MINDFUCK THAN HAVING ALL OF THESE KILLER FEMINIST BELIEFS, BUT NOT BEING ABLE TO CONSISTENTLY PUT THEM INTO ACTION?
Basically nothing. Except for why loosen and unloosen mean the same thing. I’m never going to get over that one.
But anyway. Back to my point. It’s actually bonkers if you think about it: we’re high-powered experts in our field. We have advanced degrees, incredible talent, wild accomplishments, years of therapy under our belts, and all of the bells and whistles that spell out t-h-e-g-o-o-d-l-i-f-e.
But on the inside? We’re anxious. We’re insecure. We can’t figure out how to stop beating ourselves up about not doing ‘well enough’ or about our body, our love life, our work life.
And deep down? We just want to figure it out to enjoy our damn lives
So what the hell is keeping so many incredible women from actually taking action to get the things they really want? What’s keeping us in that stressed-out rut just out of reach from confidence and happiness?
*cough* The patriarchy. *cough* It gets inside your brain and actually changes the way you think about yourself and your life.
That voice in your head telling you you’re doing it wrong, or that you’re too much or not enough or some weird combo of both.
And the antidote to these badboys? Retraining your mind. Aka UnF*cking Your Brain.
So that you don’t just finally believe that you deserve the career, relationship, body, and community of your dreams…but you go out and f*cking get it.
Uh oh, sounds like I might be a few sentences away from dropping some ‘manifestation’ and ‘the secret’ bombs doesn’t it…
Good catch. Let’s address the life-coach-shaped-elephant in the room.
- Yes, I’m a life coach—a Master Certified one at that. (Oh, and my name is Kara. Hi, hello!)
- No, that doesn’t mean I’m a woo-woo divine-feminine channeling goddess seer who spins law of attraction BS.
- In fact, I have a B.A. from Yale and a J.D. from Harvard Law. I learned how to think rigorously during my previous career as a women’s rights lawyer. And those are the same brilliant skills I bring to my coaching, which is rooted in cognitive psychology-based techniques and feminist theory.
- So basically I’m a fun, feminist, non-judgmental combo of life coach, feminist mentor, and hilarious best friend . . . except I give way better advice than your friends do. And I actually teach you how to act on it. You get it.
- Let’s not forget that the F word is in the title of my business, ok?
So, how do I know what you’re going through —and what you need?
A lot of the pieces of my story seem like obvious steps towards this work—from being a loud, preteen feminist to running a women’s community center in college to litigating for a national reproductive rights organization after law school.
So, yeah, I’ve definitely always believed that women should run the damn room if they wanted to.
But—and you maybe saw this coming—believing that and acting on that felt like two incredibly different things. Everywhere from the classroom to case meetings to conferences, I caught myself prefacing whatever I was about to say with “This may be stupid but…”.
Naturally, this disconnect was present in my personal life too:
I didn’t think I should have to have a boyfriend to accept myself . . . but I secretly worried I was unlovable.
I wanted to love my body . . . but I spent a lot of time criticizing it and hating it.
I wanted to believe I was entitled to decide how to spend my own time and energy . . . but I still found myself prioritizing pleasing other people over my feelings.
I know. How could someone who knew in her head all of these feminist truths about power and confidence and equality…not be about to walk that out in real life?
It wasn’t until I discovered coaching and learned how to coach myself that I was able to put together the cognitive psychology that I found could rewire my brain with the feminist values that informed my life.
The result was the ability to actually match my feelings and actions to my beliefs. I figured out how to use neuroplasticity (our brains’ ability to change neural patterns) to my advantage to create the feelings of confidence, worth, and independence that I wanted and had long believed I should have
And holy shit does life make a ton more sense now. Not just because I experience this confidence in my daily life, but because I get to teach women the tools of their own liberation. (And watch as self-criticism, anxiety, guilt, and shame get bounced the hell out of the club.)
So that’s me. Just over here on a mission to free women from the shackles of social conditioning and make serious change lighthearted and fun. I live in Manhattan and New Orleans (next project: adding Paris to the list). I spend a disproportionate amount of my budget on cold brew and AirBnBs, both of which come in handy when I tape my weekly soapbox sermon on the UnF*ck Your Brain Podcast.
So let’s UnF*ck some shit together, shall we?
You need to learn to get your brain working FOR you instead of against you—because the patriarchy has enough power already.